Stages of Mourning

My daddy died recently, and I have been learning about the stages of mourning.

The initial stage is called aninut in Hebrew and is the time between learning of the death and the time of burial. This is the most raw time of grief.

Upon burial, the time of shivah begins. Shivah comes from the Hebrew word for 'seven' and consists of seven days of intense mourning and lamentation. It is also known as 'sitting shivah'. During these seven days, the immediate family members live together in one house and focus on remembering their dead loved one. No work is done during this time.

After arising from shivah, the time of sheloshim follows. This consists of the 30 days following the burial of the loved one. The seven days of shivah is included in the 30 days of sheloshim. This time allows for a gradual return to the routines of daily life, like working and interacting with others.

When a parent dies, the period of mourning is extended from 30 days to 12 months. I believe this is because it is the primary relationship and the greatest contributor to what makes each of us who we are.

I am also learning the Mourner's Kaddish, which is to be prayed daily for 11 months after the death of a parent as well as at other times of remembrance during the years to follow.